Letter about the rent to your partner

Write him a letter like the one below, but make sure he does not recognize your handwriting, then hand it to him after you've picked up the mail.

"
Dear Sir,

Forgive me for getting into contact with you, but I think you can be of great assistance to me in the months to come.

I just moved into a small, cozy and comfortable apartment. I'm fed, housed and am not asked for anything in return. Isn't that nice?

The only problem is that my landlady, an absolutely charming woman, has already warned me about my eviction from the apartment within a few months. It seems that I will have become too bulky, too noisy.
It is true that I'm not really into cleaning, but still all this is a bit rough. Nevertheless, the decision seems to be final, with me causing so much nausea, but I had already told them about that at the beginning of the lease!

Not knowing where to turn to after this eviction, I kindly ask for hospitality in your home.
I do not want to impose in any way, but if you could provide me with some clothes, a warm bed, something to eat, as well as a lot of hugs and kisses (I crave attention), I would be eternally grateful!

Well, it's true I'm not really your ideal tenant: I do not pay rent, I might even go through your stuff.

And yes, one last thing, I can not promise not to make noise or not ruin your night or not ask for a little too much attentio, but I do promise you all the love the world in return. If you agree, I can even call you DAD!

I should also tell you that I am very eager to meet you, my landlord has told me so much about you, that I already love you very much!

I have some road to travel, but due to arrive on 23/4/2013.
"